Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Game Changer

Ever have a night or an experience that just changes everything?

That was last night for me, something about everything that happened and how it happened was just so amazing. Today i woke up just feeling invincible. I feel on top of the world. I am so blessed and thankful for what i have right now. 

Roomie and I kind of had a mini fight last night, he is sad about his break-up he drank to much and kind of came at me in a fucked up way. I was really upset about it but instead of arguing i just went to my bed. My sweet teddy bear of a man of course came after me and he defended me and talked to me about it and just listened to me and all my shenanigans. It's a difficult position for him to be in after all he is roomie's friend before he is mine. But he didn't get involved in an inappropriate way he agreed with me and he listened. Then when roomie decided to post a shady fucking status on Facebook right after i walked away i was upset. But he comes to my rescue and calls him on his bullshit online, it just felt like a modern day come to my rescue kinda thing. i didn't acknowledge any of it and i just let it go because i already know how my roommate is i have known him since 7th grade. But the fact that he just stood up for us made me feel amazing, he makes me feel amazing.

We talked for like a good hour or two and he is just such a complimentary person he is constantly telling me the sweetest things and being so affectionate and loving it drives me insane. In the best possible way, i cant even look at him sometimes because his intensity is so real and he makes me blush and feel slightly embarrassed because i don't deserve all his praise. 

Last week we went out and we were in separate cars and he followed me and i accidentally ran a red light and he was telling my roommate (his friend) about it and i remember that night he was so upset with me and he was just livid that i wasn't being more careful. he always worries about me so much and i felt awful after it happened but he told my roommate that he just saw everything flash before him he was sure i was going to get slammed into and that i got so lucky and if someone would have hit me he would have killed them even though it wasn't their fault. The amount of love and adoration he has for me is overwhelming i have never had anyone love me with this kind of intensity. 

So back to the purpose of this post, that was me just bragging on my amazing man. Last nights  events unfolded and it was a true game changer for me. Seeing him in that light and in that way and having a moment of intimacy so electrifying like i just see him in this whole other way. Realizing that i dont want to sacrifice my relationship with him for my friendship with roomie. I feel like some hard decisions are coming but i think they are going to be necessary. I guess the point is that finally, i am all in and where he is. I am committed to him...

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