Thursday, August 15, 2013

Another Day

I am at work and I am beyond bored. So bored my bored is bored.  Same routine here and sometimes the petty drama we deal with is just ridiculous but we move on.  I still love my job and that won't change any time soon.

So I am officially enrolled for the fall semester.  I'm only taking one class but none the less i am enrolled and ready to go.  Just waiting on my books and classes start Monday after next. Nervous & excited all at the same time.  It's going to be different, quite possibly overwhelming but i am trying to stay positive and be excited.  I know i can do this and at the very least i need my associates, after that we will see where things take me.

My family is doing great, all in their own little world doing their own little thing. I am happy for everyone even though i tend to miss them all from time to time. It's hard when you aren't as close but sometimes i love it. I like being alone, not always but majority of the time. I think i am still in some small ways coping with being single, adjusting to life alone.

I think i can officially say it, i am over my heartbreak. Do i still love E, yes i don't know if i can ever stop that. I don't think i have honestly ever stopped loving anyone that i once loved.  But i am no longer sad, i don't cry and I'm not mad either. I am accepting and i have finally let it go and let the thoughts of that life go. I am excited for what my future holds, and most importantly i know what i want. It's been a while since I have felt this sure of myself.

So many books, Ive read a couple lately and I'm glad to finally say i am on The Casual Vacancy and i am loving it.  I wont lie it took a bit to get into it, its a full cast of characters and goes all over the place at first so its a little difficult but I'm at a place where i am familiar with them and getting to know them and their stories.  Its getting really good, I'm hoping to finish by the end of the weekend and then dedicate next week to The Fault In Our Stars, which i am told is a tear jerker so i cant wait. Then 8wks of school and after that I'll start the Divergent series (once all the books have been published of course). I have a book plan.

I know this is the 10th million time i am saying this but i started a small fitness routine. It's very small and very quick but i am excited, i did it yesterday and i am sore today but i am happy about it and hoping i can keep it up. Apparently it takes 21 days to form a habit so for the next 21 days i will be doing this routine and hopefully slowing advancing it. It feels good to be sore like this my body deserves to be treated better and it's up to me to do it. 

Ive actually be doing really well in this department, not saving like i want to but the $1 for every debit card transaction has actually been helping. I am cooking and eat at home, hardly spending money out. I buy things i can make and eat for a few meals and it works for me. I make a good list and i stick to it. So go me!

Finally, things are really looking good for me i feel great about the future. Whatever it holds or doesn't is fine by me. I'm finally happy with myself & by myself. It's not an easy road to get to again after years of companionship but it is possible. Can't lose faith and have to believe in yourself. I have so much going on for me and so much life left why waste it on days of sadness & self-pity or heartbreak. I am amazingly awesome and I am extremely blessed & loved. We all are and if we would reflect on that more often we would realize how happy we can be.

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