Monday, May 24, 2010

Great Night

So on Saturday, my loving boyfriend took me out. We did what we did a year ago and it was fabulous. I had such a good time we just talked and laughed and drank. And i realized that wow, i have literally documented the last year of my life on twitter.

I remember meeting him and tweeting that whole night. I had had such a great time. It was crazy to me. Cause i realized how big a part twitter (well my twitter family) is to me. The people i have met on there are amazing and can always say something funny when you need it, offer great advice or just to wish you a good day.

I think ive become super dependent on my twitter friends. Like i find myself needing them. I dont think a day goes by that i dont tweet. But i also think its a healthy thing. To have ppl who arent directly in your life to be able to talk to. To confide in people that may not know everything about you but who are still a big part of your life. Its interesting the internet friends i have made. And its great. I love them.

Also i love E, spending the evening with him the way we did was perfect, i could not have asked for a better night. I also got 2 free beers, one from our bartender who always buys us one now like we are bffs lol and then another from our other bartender who gave it to me cause a guy ordered it then decided he wanted draft lol. So i was super happy. We then went to West Grey Cafe and had a gyro, and OMG it was delicious perfectly cooked.

Being the old couple that we have become we were home and in bed by 1am but it was great spent the best night i could have asked for. And im so excited to have him move in, i even made room in the closest and cleared him some drawers, eventually we are going to get 2 tall dressers but for now we are sharing. Im excited! :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

1 Year

Wow it seems like we just met. Like he just pulled up that chair next me. Yet here we are a year later. I'm excited as we have been doing really well and we just made a big step together. Actually we just discussed it about an hour ago.

We have decided to move in together, well he is going to move in with me & my roommate. I'm a little nervous but i love having him there all the time, and i also feel like him moving in with me is a safer step than us going out and signing a lease somewhere. We always talk about "later" getting a house together and all that and hopefully that is in our near future but for now id like to do this for a year or so. Get our feet wet.

I knew a long time ago i wanted him to move in with me but i wasn't sure when, or if he was even ready to live with someone. I knew i wasn't before but this always felt so right. Me & him. So I'm excited, i guess this is how we will be celebrating our 1 year.

Just wanted to share that little tidbit with you all.


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Sisterly Love?

I am so tired of my family fighting. All they do is fight, its always divided and us against them, them against us. It makes me so tired and i hate it. People wonder why i don't want kids or wonder why i don't want to get married or wonder why i freaking hate Houston. Cause my family is here and no matter how much i love them, i hate living here with them.

My dad will be an ass with my mom, and my mom loves him so much she puts up with it. Then this only happens sometimes. Most times they are great together but it seems every now and then he gets in his little moods. Then my sister, first of all even tho i love her i cant stand her, i hate being around i hate talking to her cause everything she says is bullshit. I'm sorry i know that sounds harsh but it is. She is constantly saying shit that she doesn't even know about. And then her and my dad gang up on my mom, my mom is the sweetest kindest woman, she deals with so much and i feel like I'm her only ally. I cant leave her yet i cant stand to see her go through what she puts up with.

Ive always gotten along with both my parents. And the next statement I'm about to make is a huge accusation and you may think I'm wrong for saying it but its true. My sister is the one who causes all these problems.

Never has my biological sister ever made me feel good. She has always been mean to me since we were younger and she never looks out for me. She is incredibly selfish and only does for the loser men that come in and out of her life and for her friends yet she expects us to pick up the pieces when her friends or the current boyfriend drop her. She is so stupid with guys, i cant tell you the amount of debt that she has gotten into by buying these guys stuff and taking care of them. My parents have now had to move her at least 3 times because of the crappy relationships she gets herself into.

I get so frustrated with my family and i just don't know what to do, i have so much shit on my plate with probation and my own bills i don't need this from them. You would think, considering my sister fucked me with the lawyer she made me get, she would help, not once has she offered after she said she would, its been a year since i got arrested, and i can count on my hand how much she has helped me. This considering i didn't have a license i have payments she got me into that i cant afford and just her overall lack of being a sister.

My cousin has been more of a sister than her. She would call to see if i needed to go anywhere and she would take me places just to get me out of the house. E has also stepped in to take care of me. Then my sister wants to talk shit cause we go do things, like when we went to SA for my birthday n the playoffs. Yeah well my boyfriend took me and paid for it all. And what did my sister do, i got a crappy birthday facebook wall post, not even an offer for lunch or anything.

I really don't think i can be around her, i will literally tell her off and make her cry if i see her anytime soon. Then who will come in to tell me something, my dad, cause he has to defend her cause me and my mom pick on her so they say. My mom and i don't talk to her cause when we do its nothing but attitude, i really don't know if i can handle any more of this family. I'm so ready to leave. December is too far away.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Good & Bad

It seems like my blogs are always so bipolar, when i reread them sometimes they make me laugh.

This weekend was great, my friend graduated with her Masters in Social Work. At her party we had a great time, met up with old high school friends and just enjoyed myself.

I realize how lucky i am, i looked at my friends and all are doing so great but yet all of them have such great responsibilities and im still chillin. lol. I just dont have a lot going on for the most part and i like it that way. Some are single parents, some are getting married, some are married with kids. It is so crazy to see how everyone has changed in such a short amount of time. I wonder about my strength sometimes, i wonder if i could handle thier loads.

One great friend has a child and the father is in jail, her parents are all over the place and she cant depend on them for help it is truly just her. Thats so amazing to me, im proud of her and how hard she works but i wonder if i could handle the same load.

Even tho some days money frustrates me and bills and appt and meetings and work i know that the load could get so much heavier and that things could be so worse off. I'm holding it together as best i can.

I appreciate E but our current dilemma is that he has money & i don't. I can barely afford the bills, i know that a lot of it is the probation, im putting out at least $200 a month for my car stuff and probation costs which would be my spare money, i dont need much to survive or have fun but now im at the point where i dont even have much. In his mind he doesn't care that he pays all the time and he wants to do whatever we want and he wants me to go to. I cant do that, to me its so wrong, i want to be able to help to, at least pay for a meal once or twice, or be able to afford to put gas in my car to go somewhere or even do special little things like he does for me. And i cant do that, i cant be the girlfriend i want to be. I don't want him to help with bills or my expenses he should have to, my problem is mine alone. I just need him to understand and although he does he is still stubborn on this. We cant seem to find a compromise. I wonder if we will, in November things should get easier & in February of next year they should be increasingly better. But until then we need to figure something out. i don't know what, any suggestions?

Mostly i am very happy in my life but there are times when stuff gets overwhelming or hard, it could always be worse but it could also be better. I hope that soon i get this figured out. Very soon.