Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Bad Moods

So this blog kind of relates to the last one. I'm having these spurts of bad moods. I don't know what it is but sometimes I'm just so annoyed and i just want everyone to go away. The smallest things annoy me and I'm trying to shake them off.

I think worst of all its that people don't seem to understand the inconvenience that i feel i cause. My parents are constantly inviting me over and its not that i don't like to go over its just that i have to wait until someone is ready to bring me home and i have make someone go out of their way to do stuff for me. Every time i tell my parents no i feel like I'm being rude or hurting their feelings but honestly i just don't like being on someone Else's schedule.

E is great and he is always with me and he goes above and beyond to help me and do things for me but at the same time he understands that if I'm ready to go or don't want to go then that's that. I like to go and come as i please, Ive been that way since i was probably 16.

So something that really bothered me today was my sister asking me "why don't you let me know when you need to do stuff" Well let me guess, because her moods are like a freaking roller coaster and i never know what type of mood she is in. Second because she doesn't offer. I hate asking for favors, i ask my mom and even tho she is using my car right now, which lightens the guilt, i still don't like to. But my mom constantly asks me if i want or need to go somewhere i don't think my sister has even if she has i can count the amount of times on one hand.

I guess i just want people to understand. that although i greatly appreciate it I'm okay being alone and also id prefer to be alone over having to wait on someone. I'm not sure if that sounds awful or if anyone can understand that. But perhaps that's the reason for my bad moods. I just want to scream leave me the hell alone im ok!!

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