Thursday, September 24, 2009

Break

I thought Sober Week was hard! lol We are on our little break thing right now. Its going ok but its only day two. I think it is best that we do this. I feel like its something for him as well as for me.

My best friend told me last night that i do have problems with pushing away and that why was i doing this to myself, talking about the break. I dont really feel like im doing it to myself i feel like im doing it for him. is that the wrong kind of thinking?

well anyways im not really sad or upset its hard to describe the way i feel. i guess i just miss him. Its hard being away from him especially without any contact. Its almost like since the day we met we've been inseperable.

I know that if we can get thru this and both still feel the same about each other afterward then maybe i can finally let that guard down. The one that apparently is always pushing. I dont see if but if the ones closest to you can then its probably there. Sad part is i dont mean to do it, its almost a reaction type thing, like "whoa too much feelings going on there, defense mechanism: activated" lol

Anyways im going to try to blog everyday throughout this "break" about something. Anything, something that made me happy or sad. Something that distracted me from him. Or about him and the things i miss most. Which are a lot.

Yesterday was the hardest, i got home and he left a note on my made-up bed. I immediately started crying, everytime i read it it makes me cry but for a good reason, cause even in the simplest 3 sentence long note that he left i can feel his love.

I know this is going to work for us it has to, cause altho we havent known each other long i know i cant be without him. Til tomorrow my friends!

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