Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I Have...

Made a Decision. :)

Can't wait to be back in San Antonio,
even if it's just for a few days. Love ya!


Monday, June 29, 2009

Time Flies...

Well as we all know i have a friend, things are going well in this friendship. I'm not making it more than it is. But my natural reaction as with most things that get to serious is to either.
  • A. laugh it off and joke about it, not take it seriously or
  • B. close up and run away.
Its taking everything in me right now not to do that second one.

So he mentioned a trip to San Antonio and right away i got excited but i said when it gets closer we will discuss it, i don't want to be making plans too far in advance but i said it sounded like a good idea. And it does but now I'm thinking is it too soon to go on a trip with someone i just met? i mean granted we get along great, but that's like 2 whole days together non stop. I don't know, i want to but I'm hesitant.

The quickness of it all is freaking me out. This weekend we spent almost a full day together, partially cuz the hangover didn't wear off and cause we wanted to, when he left i didn't want him to and he didn't want to. But that's also not good. I'm terrified now. Nothing has ever ever moved this fast for me.

I know y'all are thinking or saying "follow your heart" but I'm built differently. Ive always said that i cant think that way cause i just think your heart is dumb and is gonna get you in trouble. lol. But i do love some trouble. But that's not the point. I guess I'm just venting my worries and concerns. I do that too much don't i? Sorry.

PS. I just re-read this and i cant believe i put BUT in there like 10 times. I'm trying to totally talk myself out of what i want to do. Yeah this isn't gonna end well, i usually just end up doing what i want anyways.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

A La Rattlergrl Part Deux

25. What did you do last night? Went to see Transformers 2 w/ my family and talk on the phone.

26. What was the last film you saw at the movies? Transformers 2

27. What is your favorite movie? Good Will Hunting

28. What is your favorite TV show? I have many but of all time, Will & Grace

29. Now what show is really your favorite that you won't admit to seeing? Keeping up w/ the Kardashians

30. What is your favorite CD at moment? Hmm i dont think i have one at the moment lol

31. Favorite item of clothing? Do shoes count, If so my newest black heels, they are so fierce

32. Favorite sandwich? also odd, bologna with miracle whip & pickles, thats all

33. Favorite sport to watch? Spurs Basketball

34. What is your favorite candy? Not big on sweets but if i had to choose Sour Patch Kids

35. What is your favorite flower? Roses, but Orchids are beautiful

36. Favorite soft drink? Dr. Pepper

37. What was your favorite toy as a child? i loved Trolls, you remember dontcha?

38. Favorite day of the week? Saturdays, the day of the Trouble Train

39. What is your favorite song? I Dont Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith

40. What is your favorite love song? Lets Get It On by Marvin Gaye

41. Have you ever had your heart broken? I've broken my own heart if that makes sense. Ill be blunt, he wanted to do long distance, i refused didnt even want to try and told him no and i couldnt be with him that way. It was my choosing and i dont regret it.

42. Hugs or kisses? Besos

43. Do you remember your first real kiss? lol yes, a guy named Martin, it was not a pleasant experience. A principal saw us and then made a big deal. Horrible experience actually. lol

44. Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Yes Once

45. Any regrets from that serious relationship? No, only that we did stop talking for a bit afterwards but im glad we started again cause hes my best friend. So it worked itself out, had we not stopped talking i dont think i would appreciate him as much.

46. While in a relationship, what do you enjoy the most? Spending alone time together and having inside jokes. :)

47. Are looks or the way you are treated matter most in a relationship? Def Treatment, but both are a really good combo.

48. What is the first thing you notice about a person of the opposite sex? Looks, it sounds vain but its the first thing i see but it doesnt mean i wont talk to someone just cause i dont think they are smoking hott or whatever. Its just the first thing i notice not something i use to judge.

49. Did you feel uncomfortable sharing about yourself? Not at all

50. And finally, is there any news or exciting info you'd like to share with us? Sure, im freaking so happy now-a-days because of my new friend and i feel like such a dork. But i cant help but to smile and get giddy about it. And im not ashamed to admit it. lol

PS Thanks RG for everything! :)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A La Rattlergrl

Rattlergrl posted this wonderful blog about herself and suggested we do the same. I thought it was a great idea to get to know you all on a different level and would love to read what you have to say. Its just a fun little something that has some interesting tidbits that i haven't already shared. Enjoy!

1. What is your middle name? Michelle

2. When is your birthday? April 3rd of 86

3. What kind of car do you drive? 06 Vista Blue Mustang Coupe, that's my baby!

4. Pets? Kit-Tea via the Flea Market in Poteet & Zena our family PitBull

5. Who was the first person you spoke to on the phone today? Kim a coworker

6. Who was the last person you spoke to last night? Trouble, late last night into the morning

7. What did you want to be when you were little? Don't laugh, for some reason a bus driver seemed quite glamorous, since then my goals have gotten a little higher.

8. How many towns have you lived in? 2 - San Antonio & Houston

9. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Argentina, yes because of Manu

10. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm decent in the morning but more of a night person, esp now ;)

11. What food do you dislike? Seafood, ugh really cant stand it, any of it.

12. What characteristic in a person do you despise? Rudeness, i hate to see ppl disrespect others or be rude cause they think they are above someone. Like a waiter or a bus driver. lol

13. Do you wish on stars? not anymore, but when i was little all the time

14. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Gold

15. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds that's my birthstone and they are just beautiful

16. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla

7. Coffee or tea? Tea

18. What is under your bed? Sometimes Kittea but usually nothing.

19. What was your most recent memorable birthday? My 22nd, but i celebrated it as my 2nd 21st so i partied like a 21 year old. :)

20. When was the last time you cried? Wow with my sister on Tuesday, i have moments from time to time but i don't cry often. The stress of the court stuff got to me and i broke. I hate that.

21. What are you afraid of? Getting in too deep with my someone new.

22. Do you prefer Summer or Winter? Winter

23. How many keys on your key ring? 6 - my house, gate, room, sisters house, gate to sisters house & the mustang

24. What are you listening to right now at this moment? The fax machine, i just turned of my music.

On a fun side note I'd like to add that if you have any questions about anything maybe something i haven't answered fully or anything like that feel free to ask. Cause i know sometimes i wonder about things and want to ask too. So as long as we are being honest lets fulfill our curiosity as well. :)

Friday, June 19, 2009


OMG, I think I get bored with myself and create these weird challenges.

At the beginning of the year i went vegetarian from January til Easter. I didn't have any good reason just to see if i could do it. I wanted to test my will power in a way. Is that odd, i knew i never planned to stop eating delicious meat but i just wanted to try it out. Its surprisingly a whole lot easier than you would think. There are a lot of options, but also a lot of temptation.

Now I'm trying a "Sober Week" as i have so cleverly named it. Just a test, no good reason for it either, (but i hardly ever have good reasons to do things) to see if i can really go 7 days without drinking. I'm not an alcoholic at all i usually only drink on the weekends and i don't always get drunk but i thought this was an interesting challenge. 7 days completely dry. I started on Thursday & its Friday now, and I'm so thirsty. No I'm totally kidding, not a bad deal at all the hard part was yesterday and only because my boss pissed me off and i went home and wanted to have a drink just to take the edge off, I'm sure you all know what i mean. But I'm better now, i talked it out and vented a bit. I really think this is going to be a breeze, should i maybe go for a month? Umm, no baby steps, lets not get carried away. lol.

Am i the only weirdo who does stuff like this or do you set personal goals or challenges for yourself, just because? I'm interested to know.

So for all of my Twitter friends have a drink for me this weekend and have fun!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I don't talk to anyone but you all about this cause I'm just a naturally private person. i don't think I've even told anyone his name so that gives you an idea of how i am. things are going well, but i wonder about something.

i know as girls and doing the whole "talking" or "dating" thing there are certain rules. For instance there is the 3 day rule with calling/texting someone after meeting them. (My bff had never heard of it and i was like wtf!) Technically my friend failed on that one but only by 1 day. No big deal, cause I'm not one of those beat around the bush, play games type person.

Well now its gotten to the "talk everyday" stage. And i don't call guys, i know that may sound like I'm stuck up but the way i see it, unless they are officially your boyfriend, it should be the guy to call & if I'm interested ill answer. Every girl has their own rules and i don't think there is anything wrong with calling a guy but me personally cant do it. I know I'm a weirdo. So back to my point.

A friend (girl) told me that i should put a bit of space. Like if he calls maybe don't talk to him every 3 day or something. But i don't get it, why play? i mean i like talking to him, every time we have talked it has been for about 1hr at the least and that's rare for me. We talk about all sorts of random things from basketball to cars, and we have the same odd sense of humor which is fun. So why should i not talk to him if i want to.

But then of course that got me thinking, do i seem desperate or too available or by answering am i just showing that i am also into him and want to talk? Is that wrong if i am? Ive told him, if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine my feelings wont get hurt just don't call and that's that. No big deal, I'm not going to get all psycho and harass him or anything. So he knows what's up. Another friend (guy, Mike actually) just told me that he likes me and that by not answering he would think oh well maybe she isn't interested and he would probably stop calling or not as often.

So i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I mean i know what I'm going to do, I'm going to answer. I told him, "if i don't answer its cause i don't want to talk to you or I'm not interested" so if i don't answer, besides for like a real reason, (like being asleep or busy or stuff like that) its like I'm telling him nah i don't like you. But like he calls at night usually, he works evenings so I'm in bed watching TV or on the computer so I'm usually available. And besides id rather find out i don't like something about him while on the phone, as opposed to out in public. cause that would be awkward.

These rules are weird. I mean it doesn't really make sense in my tiny brain, it seems to be a little bit harder than it should be. I think I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing cause its working and cause I'm enjoying Trouble. On a side note I'm quite proud of myself for keeping my feelings in check. i mean i like the guy but I'm not attached, so yay! go me!

Friday, June 12, 2009

3 Hours

I spent 3 hours on the phone last night talking to my friend. i hate talking on the phone. but for some reason it was okay. i enjoyed it. i almost didn't want to hang up. almost. lol. i think this friend is going to make me crumble quick. not good. trying to keep my guard up but its getting increasingly more difficult. ahh, i know better tho, i got my shit in check, lol yes i know that's the ghetto-est term ever but it makes sense in this situation. I'm going to be having a (hopefully) fun filled, long weekend so i might not be able to blog or tweet or chat too much but i most certainly will try. I'm going to be good, i just printed out Jiminy Cricket and put him in my pocket, ill need him. its not like i do bad things, I'm a good girl its just that i have too much fun and i honestly feel a little guilty about it. like i shouldn't be having fun right now or like I'm doing something wrong by having the fun. i don't know, things happen for a reason, or so they say. So I'm going to think like i know my spurs girls would want me to think, and I'm going to enjoy the heck outta this weekend and I'm going to have fun and I'm not going to feel guilty about any of it. yay me!

i have a tiny confession to make i know ppl aren't perfect, there is no such thing but even tho i don't know him that well i feel like we have a perfect match thing going on. altho it may only evolve into a great friendship, which honestly i prefer at this time, im happy i met him. eww okay ill stop being so girly now. lol

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Now i have never been one to believe in this stuff. At all, its like i dont think cause me and a whole bunch of other people were born around the same time that it identifies our personality. Here at work a coworker told me, that i didnt seem like and Aries, a lot of people here are big on that. And i was thinking, well at work i put on a sort of front, i smile and i nod and do the appropriate work thing. im completely different. Then i stumbled upon this little thing and realized OMG im a total aries. lol. this is spot on about me. So just so you know a little more about me. I have included the link so you can see if your's is right about you. :)

Astrology Aries March 21 - April 19

Aries Strength Keywords:

- Independent
- Generous
- Optimistic
- Enthusiastic
- Courageous

Aries Weakness Keywords:

- Moody
- Short tempered
- Self-involved
- Impulsive
- Impatient

Aries and Independence:

Aries personalities are independent. Being the first of the zodiac signs, they venture out and are go-getters, often leading the way. Their upbeat and magnetic personality often entices others to follow their lead because Aries personalities bring excitement into others lives.

Aries and Friendship:

Aries are good friends, they always look out for their friends with caring and generosity and will protect them should the need arise and encourage them with their natural optimism. If confronted, Aries can turn to be quite childish, they will fight back with their agressive nature and are known to have temper tantrums should they not get their way.

Aries and Business:

Aries are activists. If a business idea comes their way, they tend to plunge right in. Aries are more then willing to take a gamble and follow their dreams and goals. However, if success is not immediate, they tend to lose interest and give up easily. Aries are notorious for not finishing what they have begun. This is due to the low tolerance for boredom and lack of patience. If the excitement is gone from their business idea, they go off and search for it elsewhere.

Aries Temperament:

Independence is key to Aries astrology, they do not like to take orders from others and enjoy getting their way. They can get childish or moody should they be given orders that they do not like. Aries easily take offense to comments made. Aries are self-involved and can be self-centered, if they do not pay attention to the feelings of others, Aries can easily become spoiled and resented by others. In order to get their way, Aries will tell a lie if it seems advantageous to do so. They are however, not very good liars and other people can usually see through them.

Aries Deep Inside:

Underneath the strong, independent surface may lie insecurity. This is due to the intense drive to succeed and Aries put too much pressure on themselves, thus resulting in self-doubt however, the natural optimism and enthusiasm overtakes this and the underlying insecurity may never be known to others.

Aries in a Nutshell:

Aries is the first of the zodiac signs. Aries is the sign of the self, people born under this sign strongly project their personalities onto others and can be very self-oriented. Aries tend to venture out into the world and leave impressions on others that they are exciting, vibrant and talkative. Aries tend to live adventurous lives and like to be the center of attention, but rightly so since they are natural, confident leaders. Aries are enthusiastic about their goals and enjoy the thrill of the hunt, "wanting is always better then getting" is a good way to sum it up. Aries are very impulsive and usually do not think before they act - or speak. Too often Aries will say whatever pops into their head and usually end up regretting it later!

Aries Love, Sex and Relationships

What it's like to date an Aries Woman:

Dating an Aries never lacks excitement. She is hot-blooded, and forceful, so you had better be able to handle the heat! The Aries woman is for the person who likes an independent self-driven woman who can fend for herself and is not clingy and needy. An Aries woman requires freedom. For the Aries woman, the best part of the relationship is the beginning, then the spark is there and she is trying to catch you to be hers. She will find happiness in a long-term relationship because she enjoys sharing everything with her partner. She will not only have a romantic partner but a best friend too. She has a great need for love and passion but she will never let a man become the master, she considers her partner to be equal. Aries women are not for domineering men. She will be faithful but she expects the same in return. She can be jealous because she wants a man to give her all of his attention, "all or nothing", so her jealously is rooted in her possessiveness, she has to be number one in his eyes. She will always encourage and give strength to her partner so an Aries woman is great to have in times of despair or need, she will always be there for you. In order to have this happy ending, she needs to feel appreciated and loved.

Ze Link:

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Trouble & Fun

I love how sometimes you just feel like being trouble. This morning i felt good and i mentioned how i want to get into trouble & then Ms. RG said she felt mischievous, i think that's funny. I mean sometimes its good to be troublesome and mischievous. Everyone likes a little of both.

So my friend and i were talking & i call him Trouble, cause that's what he is. But good trouble, and he said i was his trouble but i convinced him I'm just fun, but bad fun. So i started thinking this cant be good, cause when you mix trouble & fun its hard to stop. I thought that was pretty funny, and at first i was worried but now I'm looking forward to a little more of both. Needless to say so far so good on the friend thing.

I hope everyone gets into a bit of trouble today or this week, and most importantly i hope its fun. Things really are looking up. :)

Sunday, June 07, 2009

New Friends

So my new friend and i have been hanging out kind of a lot. Things are going very good, we are just friends but i have fun hanging out with him. He is really cool. Its hard to find someone to click with and be able to talk to. I kinda feel really lucky cause right now I'm going through like changes with the friends around me but I've been really fortunate to have new friends to fill that void. And I'm really hoping these new friends of mine will be around for a long time to come.

First and foremost my Twitter family rocks. Like its weird/funny to find people that you can talk to for hours almost on a daily basis and it all started because of the Spurs, i think that is truly are strongest bond, aww the Spurs brought us together. And i know I'm not close with all of the chatters the same and i see stronger bonds between others but i just cant get over how cool that is. It sounds cheesy but it really is something special and it makes me happy to be even a little part of that. Cause we can talk about the corniest stuff, i cant count how many inside jokes i know go on between everyone and then if you really are having a tough time everyone is there to listen/read and just offer kind and loving words & support. Especially lately i feel like I'm complaining all the time but no one is like "shut up already MG!" lol And I'm really starting to get better and feel better so i do hope to be more positive and happy from now on.

My other friend who I've know like 2 or 3 weeks started the same. That lovely basketball bond, altho he is a Rockets fan he has love for the Spurs so that's a good start. And anyways if he gets out of line talking about my 'old' spurs i always throw out that "who has gotten 4 rings in the past 10 years & who cant get out of the 1st round?" so that always works. but its nice to meet new people. I know i worried a lot about making friends when i moved to San Antonio and then again when i moved back to Houston but someone is watching out and bringing beautiful and smart and generally just awesome people into my life and i couldn't be more grateful!

I just wanted to say how much i appreciate you, yes you reading this and all the other new people in my life who have been an infinite beacon of support. Much love!

Big Hugs!

Friday, June 05, 2009

Temper Temper

Last night on chat i asked my fellow chatters: Can people control their emotions or do emotions control people?

This is something i think about alot because well i have a horrible temper, yet with all my other emotions i try to keep them in check. I think, for instance that if i choose not to "like" a person, regardless of my attraction or draw towards them that i can control that feeling. Others think I'm full of shit.

But Rita pointed out that, especially with anger, we are able to keep that emotion in check. Sometimes, like with bosses, we want to hit them for something but we are able to control it and put a smile on our face. Yet PJ mentioned that even tho you have a smile on your face doesn't mean that you're fooling your feelings deep down inside. So all of these things made me think.

I like to think i control my emotions. i don't like to think something like anger, love, sadness can control me. But maybe my fellow friends are right maybe we cant control how we feel, on the outside yes but on the inside is a different story. So why then is it that i can control my emotions except anger.

When i get mad, i get MAD! I hardly ever forgive and i don't forget, i use words to hurt whoever has made me mad and i hold a grudge like its no one's business. And im terribly irrational when angry, which i know isnt good but hey thats me. So if this one emotion can get the best of me perhaps they all can, given the right circumstance. Or maybe i just channel all my feelings into anger.

Who knows, i know this is random but its just something i was thinking about, you probably already realize I'm really random with stuff. lol

Thursday, June 04, 2009


Apparently, like i mentioned on Twitter someone is offended by what i wrote on my blog. Probably one of my "friends" like the ones that i see in person. So i went ahead and put my page private so only you guys can read it. Well i hope you can still read it since you are subscribed. Not sure about that now. But either way. People can go to hell. Just wanted to let y'all know whats up.

Its been like an hour since i wrote this and i decided well if people don't like what they read they shouldn't read it. don't send anonymous messages talking about "if you don't want ppl to know your business then don't blog about it." well duh. but a blog, for me, is to say whats on my mind and to express my thoughts views and opinions and if ppl don't like it they don't have to read it. I'm glad i blog i enjoy it and I'm sorry that someone feels the need to state the obvious.

Have a lovely day!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Breaking Point

* WARNING: Foul Language can be found in this Blog*

My best friend and I are at a point where I don't know what the fuck. I try not to curse because as Rita says people only use it when they cant think of better words to use. But at this point like i said i don't know what the fuck to do.

She calls me yesterday (her name is Lily) we are talking casually and then she goes into the whole thing how I'm not trying hard enough and that i act like i don't want to be her friend. When she first moved back to town we had plans for that wedding, you remember? i believe i spoke about it, she sold me out. it took a few days but i got over it and invited her to do stuff with me a couple of times and she always had plans, like 3 times it happened. So i waited a while and then she invited me to do stuff and i don't like to do those things, like going out to clubs or hanging with our other friend's (other friend is Mary) friends (i know that's confusing) anywho. I am who i am, i haven't changed in the 10 years and now all of a sudden Lily tells me that it cant always be me & her hanging out i have to go out with other people. my initial reaction was fuck you. i don't HAVE to do anything. i didn't say that of course but why should i change the way i am, and why all of a sudden does this bother her. She is living with my Mary now & me and Mary use to go out (before she got a boyfriend) every Wednesday to my favorite bar for $1 beer night. (this is the infamous spot that landed me my legal trouble, haha) Those nights i use to spend the night and her mom works nights so it was just me and her and i would get up at 6am for work. No big deal. Well Lily brings this up, 3 huge things about this, 1st i don't like to go out on weekdays cause i drag on Thursdays and they stay out late & don't have jobs to get up to early like me, they also don't like to go to my bar and that's the only place i like to go, its my spot 2nd before it was just Mary & her mom, since then Mary's boyfriend moved in, Lily moved in & another of their sorority sisters moved in. From Mary living practically alone there are now 5 ppl living there. i don't feel right staying the night with that many ppl getting up and disturbing everyone to get ready for work. 3rd and most importantly, i just got arrested & spent the night in jail for a DWI, i don't really want to go out and party all night right now, sorry if that's wrong but i don't think it is.

Last week she invites me over on Wednesday, the 1st day of layoffs at my job. she calls me at 4pm as soon as i get off of work and of course I'm having a pretty messed up week so I'm like sure ill go by. i get there and shes kinda down, she hasn't found a job yet, shes in her pjs at 4pm, she wants me to write a cover letter for her, she wants to talk about my jail experience, she wants to lecture me on this guy (this guy is the reason i say I'm going to hell, its a long awkward story, for another blog on another day) she literally spends the whole time bitching at me for that. telling me I'm wrong and all this. needless to say the visit was fucked up. i was ready to go home like 10minutes after i got there. why the hell would i want to spend time with someone who is making me feel more fucked up than i already do about my current situation. its so stupid. i tell Lily this and she says that makes her feel like she needs to be a certain way and cant be down. its not that at all, I've had to listen to a lot of bitching because of that asshole guy and i dealt with it. at one pt yes i told her i didn't want to hear about it, after months of listening to it because i don't want to listen to my best friend hurt herself, because i stopped blaming the guy it was her won fault after 6 months. i don't mind listening but i stopped feeling sorry for her a long time ago. so this day i really needed her to be my best friend and joke & laugh with me and just help me relieve some stress and calm my jumpy nerves and i get lectured. WTF!?!? ill pass i don't need that, my parents didn't even do that shit to me. so i just left. i didn't want to deal with this now. i think that should be understandable in my present situation.

So then she tells me that she thinks i want this friendship to end. but if your the once calling something like that out then maybe its you who doesn't want the friendship. i don't think friendships should require effort. in a sense yeah they should as far as time being spent, but when it starts turning into a "we need to talk" type situation it means maybe its not working. i don't think i should be having to deal with this now. I'm finally calming down and not being so stressed about my situation and she puts this stuff on my plate. i think its messed up as far she goes.

so like i said, i don't know what the fuck to do. my attitude right now its like fuck-it-all! thanks you guys for listening to me complain again. y'all really have made me feel so much better about everything that I'm going thru and about my messed up friendships that I'm dealing with. honestly had i not had y'all around. id be fucked.

love you guys!!