Friday, May 22, 2009

My Hair

I hope this doesn't seem vain or conceited but i feel like i can talk about anything here. I love my hair. I think i just have this beautiful head of hair, well when its straight. Let me explain.

Ive always had super duper curly hair and i like it but its so out of control, even with maximum amount of mouse, hairspray, gel, you name it, it'll frizz and just blow up! My grandma, from the side of the family that i get this hair from, not the one i got the tattoo for, was always talking mess to me when i was little. She always said i didn't comb it or make a big deal. She always made me feel ashamed of it and self conscious. In fact even now she says things.

See i used to be very athletic in high school even freshman year of college. But in the past 2 years i gained weight. I'm not comfortable in my own skin sometimes. I think I'm pretty and I'm not ashamed but sometimes i feel weird about it. I never like to go see my grandma cause she will tell us all that we are fat. Well my cousins are also "healthy" as i like to say and they spend a lot of time around her so they throw her crazy and it doesn't seem to phase them but me and my sister just try not to visit. See the grandma we grew up around always tells us she loves us and that we are beautiful and she is always an encouraging and positive woman. I have never in my life felt belittled by her. So being around negative grandma is hard for me.

So my attachment to my hair is something weird. Its long, like a hand above my bum. And when i finally learned to straighten it, like senior year of high school I've always loved it. But i keep it in a bun most of the time cause I'm not sitting there for 2 hours straightening it daily or even every other day. I feel pretty when i have it done. The first time negative grandma saw it she told me how beautiful i was and i was floored, even my other cousins were like WTF? I think part of that is why i like it so much too.

I remember when Mike and i were together, even now, he just loves it long and straight. In fact he was the main reason i let it grow so long. I made the decision after high school i wouldn't die it again and its something i knew he didn't like either. Funny story, when we went to the Spurs game i had it down and had a little purple hair clip, like fake purple hair extension in it and i showed him, he looked mortified. he didn't want to tell me that he didn't like it but he didn't know what to say he thought it was real. So i asked him you don't like it do you and he just looked down and was like no, i said good, its not real and he looked so relieved, anyway off the subject.

My hair has become something for me like a... i don't even know what. Something I'm attached to that makes me feel pretty when I'm not feeling pretty about myself. Does that make any sense. Probably not. I have a feeling you my friends will understand on some level. Then today i wear it down and at work a bunch of ladies were like you have such pretty hair and they were looking at me and i was totally embarrassed to have these women staring at me and my hair. Part of me thought i was going to get ojo. lol. if your Mexican you know what I'm talking about. the "evil eye" I'm really shy until i get to know people and i don't like attention on me so it was awkward. So now I'm thinking do i really like the hair, well yes of course i do i just wrote a blog about it. lol

2 comments:

  1. Haha, I swear I love how I am getting to know you more each day with these lovly blogs. :) Anyway, I know exactly what you mean about the hair. Personally, I love my hair which like you is long and naturally curly. However, no one understands the pain in the ass it is to manage such long curled hair! Sometimes I want to just cut it all off! Of course if I just mention that everyone freaks, family and friends included. But at the end of the day, I love my hair and wouldn't change it for the world. And I don't think it's vain or conceited by the way that you love your hair :-P

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  2. i have curly hair too! But I don't deal with it..I just put it up with a clip or something lol Unless I have to have to fix it then it's a total pain in the butt haha

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