Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Best Friend?

Okay so for my devoted blog readers this is just going to be me bitching about my best friend some more. So feel free to pass it by if you are done hearing my whining i know it can get annoying but i gotta get it out. Your past blogs have kinda told me that i need to let stuff that's bothering me out so that's what I'm doing.

I was on chat last Friday with most of you when she came over. It was a spur of the moment drop by visit. No problem i was like well maybe we can chat i can FINALLY tell her I'm not moving in with her and maybe get our relationship on track. Yeah no that didn't happen.

She got there when we were about to eat so she had dinner with me and my parents. When we went to my little room i got on chat to say bye and that id be back later. So, i already told y'all this, she was all like, wow your "one of those people" who chats all the time. (she had a mark moment apparently) Then she tells me, i used to do that in high school. I told her yeah and i explained how awesome all my chat friends were and how we all like to chat all the time and how we have a lot in common. I didn't really feel the need to defend my chatting but i felt the need to defend my Spurs friends. Cause it felt like she was insulting us all & that really pissed me off.

So we are talking more and I'm trying to lead into the whole 'I'm not going to move in with you' conversation. I tell her i want to go back to school full time. And her response "what for" I'm like okay rude but i answer "to finish" and then shes like "finish what" at this point I'm seeing red and trying to keep my cool. I've never felt that she felt she was better than me but at this point i felt that way. I could have finished school in 4 years had i really wanted to but i wasn't going to be like her. She ended up getting a degree in something she didn't really want because she didn't get into the program she wanted. I want to be sure what i want to do before i finish school i want to have a degree ill use.

So needless to say I've distanced myself from her. i haven't talked to her since that day. I'm really upset its making me mad even blogging about it now but i do feel some relief getting it out. I just don't even want to try with her. Where is my best friend? Who has her? Why did they take her? What the hell am i supposed to do with this crazy lady whose replaced her?

I'm just mad about the whole thing, before i was sad and felt helpless I'm past that now. Now i know its not me. Its her. I tell Mike (BTW he is that one & only person i trust) and he tells me to leave her alone when shes ready to be my friend again she will be. But also he tells me not to go and like confront her cause that could damage our friendship permanently. I think hes right.

For those of you who made it this far thanks!

2 comments:

  1. I want to begin by saying that the whole "mark moment" at the beginning made me laugh.
    Ok, I think that you should let things cool down and when she is ready to start talking, she will. Why add more flame to the fire? Besides you did nothing wrong. It is unfortunate that as we get older, we tend to change and that sometimes effects our relationships with others. If your friendship with your best friend is strong enough, this will pass. Maybe she is just having a moment right now in her life that she needs to overcome. Just be there with open arms when your best friend decides to return. Hope it all works out!! : )

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  2. You mentioned Mark! lol
    In my humble opinion, this is a bit hard because if you leave her be for a while she can either think you're letting everything cool down or that you're ignoring her. Does she know that you feel your friendship isn't strong like it used to be? Because take it from someone who had her friends stop talking to her...I thought our friendship was strong and the entire time they were ignoring me because i never told them what was going on and they never told me how they felt. So I think the first thing is make sure she knows something is up. After that, decide where you want to go from there. I'm sure you'll know what to do and i hope it works out for you.

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