Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Advice

This is not a normal blog, I'm asking for help/advice.

My best friend and I were supposed to move in together. We have been planning this for a while now. But when i talked to her recently, when she moved back to Houston from Austin. She was explaining to me that she might go to a school in Texas City and move out there. Of course she said it all depends on whether she can get in or not and a few other factors. But if im planning to move in with her i dont want to be stranded 6 months later. I dont want to move out of my parents, which they are totally cool with me staying there as long as i want, and then get stuck without a roommate. I dont want to be moving back and forth when i am secure right now. I think i should just get my own place but with the economy the way it is and my job isnt super secure at this point i dont want to make any risky moves.
So i decided that the best thing for me is to stay at home for the time being. I was thinking well that would be me selling her out but at the same time she made these decisions and plans without telling me. And i know this didnt come out of no where because she had told me about the program a while back but she never mentioned moving to Texas City. So i feel in a way that moving in with her is not a good move for me. Whatever my reasons i have decided not to move in with her officially. I dont want to move in and then move a year later. I want to stay put for a while at least. Maybe im being selfish but i need to think this way right now. Right?
So here is my dilemma i dont know how to tell her. She called me and asked when we were gonna go looking at places and i didnt know how to answer. Im at work so i didnt want to get into the whole thing here. Plus our relationship has been at its weakest point lately, weve actually gotten mad at each other and in a real argument. weve disagreed before but not like this last time where we were completely on opposite ends. and you guessed it, it was over a boy who treats her like shit. and i told her that i wasnt supporting her decision to be with this guy who is a complete asshole. anyways thats off the topic. seeing as our friendship could be at a breaking point im a little scared on how to approach this and talk to her about it. How would you do it?
She is going out of town with me & my parents to a family wedding in Beaumont. Should i tell her before we go or should i tell her when we get back. I dont want us to be wierd but i need her to be understanding. I think well lately ive put up with a lot of her bs cuz of this guy and she should be understanding but i also thing because of this guy she is more vulerable and just not herself lately. If this was 6 months ago i would have no problem telling her straight out. but now i kinda feel that guy has left a bad taste in our friendship. I JUST DONT KNOW! HELP!
anything & everything will be appreciated!!

3 comments:

  1. Hmm, that's a tough one. Well, first and foremost, I think that you should think about what is best for you and what you will get out of the whole situation. Does she know for certain that she's going to school in TX City? If not, propose to her that maybe, you both should wait and know for sure and explain that it's just that you don't want to be left w/o a roomie and paying full rent in 6 months. That's an acceptable excuse where no one's feelings get hurt. About when to tell, I have no idea. Personally I like to get things over and done with. OMG, I've written a book, haha! Sorry. Sometimes I get carried away with words :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmm this is a tuffy. Do whatever makes you happy. Because that's the only way you'll be ok with yourself. And about how to tell her..to be honest with you..if it were me I'd avoid it like the plague until I couldn't anymore and then I would just be honest...althought in my world that would cause another arguefest that we'd just have to deal with. As to when..if you do it before you go the trip will be akward and if you do it after she might say that you could have mentioned it before...So do tell her when it feels right to you. I'm trying to go by how my best friend and I would handle something like this. Of course every situation is different. So what I guess I'm trying to say is...do what you see fit. I hope this helped a bit!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Crap! I soo stole Rattlergrl's first line..that's what I get for reading her comment first! lol All credit of my first line goes to her. :p

    ReplyDelete